CREDIT TO VERILY MAGAZINE JAN 16, 2017
From time to time, we all seek advice about love from someone. Most often our chosen confidant is probably one of our close friends or a relative. But, for some, that person is a professional—a therapist.
If you’ve ever thought about seeing a therapist but hesitated for fear that they might think you’re crazy or won’t understand your situation, the sources we heard from for this article assured us: They’ve heard it all—and most of it at least twice.
Want to know if some of their most-heard questions are the same as the one keeping you up at night and complicating your love life? Look no further. As told to Verily, here are the No. 1 questions these therapists say their patients ask about love.
“‘How do I know if I can trust him/her?’ I get this question three to four times a day.” —Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D., FICPP
“I don’t like the way my relationship is going. Should I wait for him/her to change?” —Paula H. Cookson, LCSW, relationship expert for Cupid.com
“It’s so hard for people to stay; what makes me unlovable?” —Erin Asquith, LCSW
“How can I tell if he/she is cheating on me?” —Cynthia McKay, JD, MA, LAC
“‘What are his/her intentions?’ People always worry about the other person having other motives (sex, money, etc.), and that makes them afraid of being vulnerable.” —Dion Metzger, M.D.
“Will I ever find it?” —Donna Corbett, LCSW
“‘When should I fight for a relationship (and how)?’ In the close to two decades I have been a relationship therapist, I have never once had someone regret that they fought too hard for love.” —Caroline Madden, MFT, author of five relationship books
“‘How do I have a strong relationship?’ or ‘How do I improve my unhappy relationship?’” —William Schroeder, MA, LPC, Gottman-certified relationship expert
“He was different when we first met; why is he not the same?” —Lisa Bahar, LMFT, LPCC
“‘What does he/this mean?’ Women, especially in the context of a romantic relationship, spend inordinate amounts of time trying to figure out whether their spouse/boyfriend ‘likes them’ and analyzing every message/email/action to understand what it means.” —Anjhula Mya Singh Bais, Ph.D.
“If he loves me, why doesn’t he understand what I need, think, and feel?” –Pearl Flax, CDC and life coach
“If the client is single and looking for love, I inevitably get asked, ‘Will I ever find love with the right person?’ If the client is in a relationship, I most often get asked, ‘Why is it so hard to communicate and really understand each other?’” —Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D.
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