CREDIT TO VERILY MAGAZINE JAN 16, 2017
http://verilymag.com/2017/01/the-number-one-question-therapists-get-asked-about-love
From time to time, we all seek advice about love from someone. Most often our chosen confidant is probably one of our close friends or a relative. But, for some, that person is a professional—a therapist.
If you’ve ever thought about seeing a therapist but hesitated for fear that they might think you’re crazy or won’t understand your situation, the sources we heard from for this article assured us: They’ve heard it all—and most of it at least twice.
Want to know if some of their most-heard questions are the same as the one keeping you up at night and complicating your love life? Look no further. As told to Verily, here are the No. 1 questions these therapists say their patients ask about love.
“‘How do I know if I can trust him/her?’ I get this question three to four times a day.” —Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D., FICPP
“I don’t like the way my relationship is going. Should I wait for him/her to change?” —Paula H. Cookson, LCSW, relationship expert for Cupid.com
“It’s so hard for people to stay; what makes me unlovable?” —Erin Asquith, LCSW
“How can I tell if he/she is cheating on me?” —Cynthia McKay, JD, MA, LAC
“‘What are his/her intentions?’ People always worry about the other person having other motives (sex, money, etc.), and that makes them afraid of being vulnerable.” —Dion Metzger, M.D.
“Will I ever find it?” —Donna Corbett, LCSW
“‘When should I fight for a relationship (and how)?’ In the close to two decades I have been a relationship therapist, I have never once had someone regret that they fought too hard for love.” —Caroline Madden, MFT, author of five relationship books
“‘How do I have a strong relationship?’ or ‘How do I improve my unhappy relationship?’” —William Schroeder, MA, LPC, Gottman-certified relationship expert
“He was different when we first met; why is he not the same?” —Lisa Bahar, LMFT, LPCC
“‘What does he/this mean?’ Women, especially in the context of a romantic relationship, spend inordinate amounts of time trying to figure out whether their spouse/boyfriend ‘likes them’ and analyzing every message/email/action to understand what it means.” —Anjhula Mya Singh Bais, Ph.D.
“If he loves me, why doesn’t he understand what I need, think, and feel?” –Pearl Flax, CDC and life coach
“If the client is single and looking for love, I inevitably get asked, ‘Will I ever find love with the right person?’ If the client is in a relationship, I most often get asked, ‘Why is it so hard to communicate and really understand each other?’” —Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D.
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