I’m Pearl Flax

A Trauma informed couples’ counselor and Healer.

My Mission is to help couples create a harmonious connected loving relationship and home.  In our work together you will discover what parts of your childhood and unhealed wounds are getting in the way of your happiness and connection!

Through the variety of modalities I incorporate we will meet all those parts with love, compassion and understanding to build a healthy and meaningful foundation.

After having traveled through my own challenging journey from a very young age I knew there are only two options. Suffer and staying stuck, or reluctantly embarking on a healing journey that will set me free.  I chose the latter. It was hard…really hard, but here I am.  This is what  lead me to dedicate my life to helping couples heal themselves, their wounded inner child, and their marriages. My passion and purpose is to help others find true happiness and harmony in their lives and create lasting loving connections and cultivate a healthier future for themselves and the lives they touch and influence.  

My approach to Healing/Therapy

My practice is built on the core foundations of love and safety. I create a safe space for you to freely express your past pain, childhood trauma, or challenging circumstances. I strongly believe that my clients are the experts of their own lives, and they are the ones that know what they went through and who they are yearning to become. Through the process of healing, my clients learn to awaken their authentic self by acknowledging the old patterns that are no longer serving them.  I teach my clients how to stop running from their pain and to start healing it. The greatest journey you will ever embark on is healing your soul and creating the life you deserve and desire to live.

I am trained in a variety of modalities and somehow find myself always wanting to expand and bring more to my clients. To ensure that my training and clinical skills are up-to-date, I undertake several professional development activities and clinical trainings every year. This has included becoming a Somatic Trauma practitioner, Certified breathwork facilitator, TEB  Practitioner to name a few. I also seek regular clinical consultations from seasoned psychotherapists and somatic training supervisors regarding various client cases to expand my technique and to ensure I am providing my clients with the most ethical and advanced care. 

Specifically I am trained in

Gottman Couples Therapy

Certified CDC Divorce Coach & Mediator

Imago Therapy

Inner child

Certified TEB Practitioner

Certified SRT Practitioner

Certified Life Coach

Gemstone healing

Energy Healing

Certified Breathwork facilitator

What is Breathwork

Breath is life, it’s the first thing we anxiously wait to hear from a baby at birth and the last thing we do when we transition. Yet while we have something that is so powerful and free most people don’t realize that is also one of the most transformative healing modalities. Breathwork is an umbrella term that relates to the practice of consciously manipulating the depth and rate of breathing to achieve a specific outcome. Your breath is one of the most powerful tools you have at your disposal to completely transform your mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.  I am trained in a variety of different breathwork modalities. Together we create the best protocols to get you to where you want to be.

Breathwork is a hands-on healing modality. The Breathwork practitioner who has had special hands-on training in body mapping pressure points uses touch and breath to help the client open constricted patterns.

Most people restrict their breathing to avoid experiencing unpleasant feelings. By holding our breath, we deactivate feelings. Keeping them repressed (held in the subconscious) requires a tremendous ongoing amount of energy and creates chronic tension in our bodies. These repressed feelings also unconsciously affect our behavior, often in limiting, self-sabotaging ways.

Breathwork integrates the wounded aspects of self into one functioning whole. It produces an entrainment effect in the electromagnetic field which allows dense, lower vibrational patterns (such as repressed emotions) to be transformed into a higher vibrational energy. Through this process, trauma is permanently shifts from our being—without the need for conscious processing of each accumulated hurt. Old patterns are restructured through the breath, the true inner nature reveals itself, and we move easily beyond our previous limitations to lead a more joyful and healthy life.

 Some of the benefits:

  • Decrease stress levels (includes mentally releasing the feelings of stress and turning off the stress response in the body)
  • Oxygenating the body, which promotes cell growth and function
  • Alkalizing your blood pH to decrease the risk of disease
  • Improve mental focus
  • Improve mental clarity
  • Process and release blocked emotion or trauma from the body and mind
  • Nervous system regulation by stimulating the vagus nerve
  • A sense of deep relaxation (mentally and physically)
  • Boost the immune system
  • Relieve feelings of anger, anxiety, depression, and grief
  • Help treat PTSD and c-PTSD
  • Help treat chronic pain
  • Decrease inflammation in the body

What is TEB

Transforming the Experience Based Brain is an innovative biophysiological approach to healing, developed by Stephen J. Terrell, PsyD, SEP a world leading authority on developmental trauma.

The term developmental Trauma stems from the work of Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score. It describes the many impacts of childhood trauma that can be measured in adult populations, as demonstrated by the Adverse Childhood Experiences study.

TEB is a Somatic (or embodied) therapy to support healing at a biophysiological level, from the impact of adverse childhood experiences. Adverse childhood experiences can change the wiring of our bodies and brain meaning we get locked into ‘survival physiology’.

In survival physiology it can be difficult to feel safe, see opportunities, move towards connection or make healthy choices. We may feel powerless around persistent behaviors, beliefs, actions or states which negatively impact our life. These may indicate defensive accommodations: ways we have adapted to manage an underlying survival physiology.

Defensive accommodations often underpin many of the things that regularly drive people to seek out therapy such as:

  • Anxiety and stress
  • Depression
  • Mood instability
  • Sleep issues
  • Confidence and self esteem
  • Finding or maintaining relationships
  • Addictive behaviors
  • Health and wellbeing
  • A desire to feel happier and more fulfilled
  • A desire for more from life

Somatic touch is an attachment focused neurophysiological method of hands on and intentional healing. The Somatic Experiencing® therapist who has had special hands-on training in touch uses touch to more directly intervene with the client’s nervous system. The SE therapist uses her own regulated nervous system to help bring regulation back to the client.

Through this modality, many of my clients have reported feeling more present, alive, and fearless. TEB involves touch skills which supports the client and helps them regain their equilibrium.  In a typical session: we spend time checking in and talking about your themes. When appropriate and with your permission, we move into a treatment phase typically 20 – 40 mins long. Through this innovative approach people become aware of the early childhood trauma they have been carrying around for years. As a practitioner, I lift the burden off my clients and provide a loving and supportive space for them to process, integrate and heal.  

Healing Touch is remarkably helpful to regulate the nervous system and bring safety back to the body.

What is Inner Child Healing

Inner-child work, sometimes known as inner-child therapy or inner-child healing, is a therapeutic process used in many forms of therapy to help clients address and recover from harmful, maladaptive experiences that occurred in early childhood. It focuses on assisting individuals in accessing and re-experiencing any repressed memories and emotions to cultivate awarenessacceptance, and healing. One of the goals of inner-child work is to allow “childlike patterns to gradually evolve into adult life,” or, in other words, to allow the “healthy integration of the inner child as part of a whole adult.”

The inner child may have a wide range of needs, experiences, personality traits, and ages. Even as a person ages, their inner child remains a component of their psyche. 

This is an approach I integrate as needed and only when my clients show enough agency to process old painful wounds.  We take a slow and safe approach assuring that healing will result.  How the session looks always varies and depends at what stage of the healing we are at.  What it could include or look like:

  • Meeting and dialoguing with your inner child.
  • Renegotiating old painful experiences.
  • Journaling from your inner child’s voice and/or non dominant hand journaling and drawing.
  • Meditating and connecting to your inner child
  • Re-parenting tools
  • Play – opening up the possibilities to reclaim your inner child’s playfulness and freedom.

Benefits of Inner child work:

  • improved quality of life
  • reduced symptoms of depression
  • reduced anxiety
  • improved responses that are proportionate to the situation
  • improved functioning
  • integration of ego states
  • better interpersonal relationships
  • improved vitality
  • returned sense of child-like wonder
  • improved emotional regulation and maturity
  • greater authenticity and whole-person behavior

What is SRT

Self-Regulation Training (SRT), known to some as the Melrose Healing Method, is a quiet, naturalistic way of healing the effects of stress and trauma. This method has been greatly influenced by the work of Somatic Experiencing (SE); the short-term trauma-healing approach developed by Dr. Peter Levine (traumahealing.org.).

SRT, like SE, recognizes the limits of talk therapy and other treatment modalities that use catharsis and other activating techniques in order to “discharge” stressful or traumatic material. Such stimulating techniques may offer temporary relief, but their benefits are rarely long-term. These more activating approaches, in their lack of a complete understanding of the impact of stress and trauma on the brain, can overwhelm the nervous system and re-traumatize rather than heal.

Like SE, SRT helps “renegotiate” patterns of arousal and anxiety by carefully supporting the body’s natural ability to release over-activation. By combining and interweaving elements of stress and trauma with strengths and resources, a new, complete and more empowering experience is created, thus enabling new, more powerful neural pathways in the brain. This is when clients begin to notice a new and greater repertoire of emotional and behavioral choices. They move from being stuck in rage, helplessness, and anxiety to a fluid experience of empowerment, peace, and resiliency thereby strengthening and building resistance to future stress and trauma.

Adding SRT to my practice has shown lifechanging results for myself and my clients. It is my belief that talk therapy alone, without the integration of the nervous system, will for most people never be enough.  It is truly the missing link to a complete mind, body and soul healing approach.

Somatic experiencing

A body first approach to healing

 “Trauma is about loss of connection, first to the body and the self, and second to others and the environment”. Peter Levine

Trauma is experienced, processed, stored, and relived through our body – or somatically. In response, we must show not tell, our protective parts that we are safe, through Somatic healing approaches. When someone is stuck in a survival response (ie. Fight flight or freeze/shutdown), they will constantly experience life through fear and danger even when the danger isn’t present.  At other times they might shut down and lose capacity to live in the present moment, or constantly be on the run busying.

SRT – Breathwork and TEB are all somatic approaches that aim to help a person access the body memory of the event, so that they can safely and slowly complete the incomplete experience and renegotiate the experience in order to come back to present moment safety.

The Core Values Supporting My Mission

SAFETY: Safety is the bedrock for which this work is done. I believe slower, smaller steps are always better. My aim is to stretch you, without stressing you. I go at your pace, always.
CHOICE: Agency and choice is foundational to any trauma informed work. You are the expert in your own life, it’s my job to support you in those choices.
CONTEXT: Much of my work will be supported by psychoeducation, giving you greater context into what’s happening inside of you, because of what happened to you.
COMPASSION: When we have the context that our emotions, thoughts & behaviors make complete sense, based on our need to self-protect, we’re able to replace our old shame-narratives, with compassion.
CONNECTION: Trauma often disconnects us from ourselves, others & the world. My job is to hold a regulated space for you to safely explore connection again.
SOLUTION-FOCUSED: I help you build up your strengths, new healthy beliefs, and positive coping strategies rather than just extinguishing “negative” behaviors and beliefs.
PRESENT & PAST ORIENTED: Our work will be a combination of safely unpacking the past while anchoring you in the present – to help you process and heal while integrating new ways of thinking and tools that will create equilibrium, expansion and resilience.
LOVE & ADMIRATION:  Every client I work with is a light I cherish and admire and am forever grateful for. My heart has so much love and admiration for every person that opens themselves up to do the most sacred and difficult work in our lives.  Healing!