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The children of today are the leaders of tomorrow. As adults, it’s easy to forget that these young kids that we are trying to teach simple manners to or have to remind to brush their teeth, will be full-fledged adults, just like us. It’s therefore only natural that we dismiss how relevant our “authority” and example can play such a significant role in how our littles evolve. Nurture over nature is not anything new, it holds a ton of truth, and regardless of if you’re a single parent or happily married (maybe unfortunately unhappily married even), you still have control of how your kids are shaped.
Here are 3 Ways Instill or Boost the confidence in your kids (at any age)
- Learn to Disagree: Whether it’s with a spouse, a friend, a co-worker, etc. You are bound to encounter conflict. Conflict is normal and it’s part of life, and actually helps us grow. The best way to teach your kids to overcome conflict is to agree to disagree. Show them that being narrow-minded gets them nowhere and will only add to their frustration, which can lead to anxiety and depression. Instead, it’s imperative to teach kids that not everyone thinks, feels or perceives things the same way. Having this instilled in them will allow them to overcome conflict without it taking over their emotions as they face conflict of their own as adults.
- Remind them How Loved they are: You can never say “I love you” too much. And besides the words alone, show them you love them by making 1 on 1 time with them. Tell them how proud you are of them about a test, a performance, or even something simple, like doing what they are supposed to do on a routine basis. Over time, this “show and tell” of love will boost their confidence and security within themselves, just by showing them what you naturally feel as their parent. I have a client who is blessed with four children. She has this beautiful ritual of doing every night a quality night with each child. It makes them feel special and gives them individual time and attention to bond.
- Never put your Child in the Middle: Whether you are married, divorced or separated, it’s important to remember that you’re 1 of 2 of their parents. Typically children that have both of their parents in their life, love them both the same. Yes, they may get away with more with mom, vs. dad, or vice versa, but ultimately, both parents are important. If you are ever fighting with their other parent, or even if you aren’t fighting, but just feel any kind of animosity towards them, it’s super important to keep your kids out of it. They are the middle person here, and should never feel like they have to favor sides. What this will do is make them weaker as an adult when they are faced with choices that they don’t want to make. Teaching them to allow themselves to be overpowered by someone else’s opinion will affect their confidence greatly!
You no doubt, love your kids. Whether they are babies or teens, it’s never too late to shape them. If you start doing these things TODAY, no matter what you did YESTERDAY, you will help instill the confidence your child needs to be a more successful, independent and confident leader of our future.