I am in the process of becoming Mamma to my boy #3 – that is my husbands third son. The first two already live with us in the US and now there is a new change coming our way. The youngest of the three stooges is joining our blended family. He is really cute and full of life and spunk, but somehow, I find myself overwhelmed. I couldn’t quite understand why. Why am I overwhelmed and anxious for this change? It’s a good change and he is an awesome kid. I took time to write 🖋 how I feel about it in my journal and of course I realized that although I am excited for him to join us, and the change is positive it is still CHANGE. Positive change is also stressful, and most people seem to think that when something new or exciting and positive happens in their life they should ONLY be happy!
I am actually happy and excited, but I am also scared and overwhelmed! I am scared of how the change will impact our family.
❓Will I be able to manage it all?
❓Will I be able to be the mom he needs me to be?
❓Will I be able to help him become the best version of himself?
All scary questions, but instead of fighting the feelings I took the time to get clear on them, to acknowledge them and give myself full permission to face them and sort them out.
Reality is that change is inevitable, and a part of life and it is critical to adapt a healthy approach on how we deal with changes, regardless if we are in control of the changes or not. So here are some tips on how to navigate change:
1. Face your feelings about the change, especially when the change is imposed and beyond your control. Get past “Why me?” “But I don’t want to!” and “It isn’t fair!” Figure out what your fears or worries are. That takes work. You don’t have to be a victim, even when you are not in control of the change. Write about your feelings. Get really clear on what you are actually feeling. Don’t judge the feelings just acknowledge them and accept them
2. Figure out when to accept and when to reject the change. Have you heard the serenity prayer? I love this prayer and try and say it daily:
God … grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.
Reflect on what you are accepting, what you are rejecting, and what you are doing something about. You will be amazed at how effective your choices are and making a decision to take action is incredibly empowering.
3. Adopt an attitude of anticipation and gratitude. Change positive or negative is already a time for opportunity. There is always a way in which you can find benefits in opportunity. No matter how easy or hard the change might be. I love writing📔, helps me clear my mind and channel my focus. Try keeping a log of 3 things you are grateful for every day pertaining to this particular change and you will notice a powerful shift in your anticipation growing.
4. Choose your thoughts and attitudes about each change. Negative thoughts block your creativity and problem-solving abilities. Positive thoughts build bridges to possibilities and opportunities. Keep a record of the choices you make in your thoughts and attitudes.
5. Learn to relax (more). I think breathing is the most soothing form or relaxation when done right. When I get anxious or overwhelmed from stressful changes, I know I am not breathing right. I make it a point to stop, and take time to sit and breathe. Relaxation helps you deal with changes in a much healthier balanced way.
You can see changes as challenges, or you can see them as opportunities. What do you choose to see?